ASHLEY'S LIST

This was an article I had written for my column 'SoLo in LoDo' for the Downtown Denver News in 2003. I thought it would be fun to share.

I have always wondered what causes “attraction.” Sure physical appearances, sex appeal, intelligence, occupation, money, status, and common interests all play roles here. But there is something else at work. Chemicals.

The body generates chemicals known as pheromones, which are odorless chemicals secreted from the body that affect reproductive interactions among both animals and humans. Pheromones apparently have more influence affecting chemistry and attraction than we know.

The science of chemical attraction is reportedly in its infancy, however pheromone perfumes and oils mixed in a lab are supposed to work miracles by attracting others to us for love, sex, success, power, friendship. It is supposed to be as easy as dabbing the “pheromone” scented Eu De Toilette wherever you would put your perfume or cologne normally and be prepared!

“Such molecules are called pheromones, after a Greek word meaning "to transfer excitement".

I decided to try the pheromone oils out for myself. I searched online for the best web site for this kind of purchase. I wanted to make sure that the site was legit and also, that they could educate me in the process. I found http://www.Love-Scent.com in my search. It was confusing because I didn’t know what to order at first, so I settled on the beginner’s kit. The beginner’s kit included oil, spray, concentrate to mix the oil with and two testers. I figured this was a good start.

DAY ONE

I received the discreet package three short days after I placed my order. I eagerly mixed my oils and in my excitement spilled them all over my carpet. I managed to get some on my wrist. Being the single bachelorette that I am, I had oils on and was hungry. I ordered pizza and when it was delivered I noticed that the pizza guy was smiling quite sweetly at me. I answered the door in my flannel pajamas with bed head and was definitely not looking my best. He still smiled. Maybe he was laughing at me. Further research is necessary.


DAY TWO

I sprayed a tiny amount on my wrist before I went to yoga. During the 90 minutes, I was so nauseated from the smell that I could barely handle being around myself. Later in the day I had a meeting with some colleagues and it went very well, however, I don’t think it had anything to do with my newly acquired mucky stench!!! I then had dinner plans with the girls. Not only did nothing “amazing” happen due to my smell, some guy actually came up to our table after we were done eating and asked us if we were going to be much longer because they had a big party and had been waiting a “long time.” It was tacky, but hey, that’s beside the point. The musky scent is permeating itself through my house, and I can’t get it out … the scent makes me sick and I think my roommate is ready to toss it out the window!


DAY THREE

My dog is not spending as much time with me lately. I have the flu. I am so sick I can’t leave the house, let alone wear pheromones that smell awful and are beginning to chase even my dog away!

DAY FOUR

Had big plans for a night on the town! Of course, sprinkled my wrist with the pheromones, and off I went. I couldn’t even get the attention of the bartender, and no, it wasn’t because I was too short to see over the bar. I think he smelled me and became afraid. I don’t blame him. I practically had to tackle him to get a drink. My love scents are a hoax!!!

An old American custom, quoted in "The Scent of Eros", was for the man to keep a handkerchief in his armpit while dancing. After the dance he would present it to his partner. Supposedly the anticipated effect was that of an aphrodisiac.

I like the idea of oysters much more!!!

DAY FIVE

I threw the oils out. Better yet, I dumped them out, and then tossed the bottles in the garbage. I feel sorry for the people who collect the trash! I did not receive the results I was promised, but then, they say to give it at LEAST three weeks to take effect. If I gave it three weeks of wear I would ruin my nasal passages, and yours. I didn’t have three weeks to walk around smelling like a smoked hippie. Though disappointed with the nil results of attracting every man in Denver, winning over powerful people’s respect, and landing a mate, the research in itself is quite fascinating.

Rick Weiss a writer for the Washington Post stated in March of 1998 said; “If pheromones have a big effect on human physiology, people may want to rethink their heavy use of soaps and perfumes: It may be, Buck speculated, that the constant washing away or covering up of these sweaty social signals account for some of the loneliness or depression in modern society. “ Hey everyone, please don’t put the soap away just yet!

Ashley E. Underell